Up in the air.

Hello!

Today has been pretty much average. A few ups and downs although I have noticed that since reading Overcoming BPD that book I was going on about yesterday I have noticed a few triggers which make me feel down. It’s annoying really because even though I notice when someone says something which affects my mood and makes me deregulate I still can’t stop it from happening.

Matthew was telling me to calm down earlier because I was angry that there were no hot dog sausages left for me to have for dinner. It’s a little thing I know but I wasn’t asking for his opinion, he just happened to come into the room while I was shouting at the freezer. I just needed to get the anger out and then I would be fine again. However, him telling me to ‘calm down’ and saying ‘there’s no need to get stressed out about this’ made me feel shitty. I felt he was trying to control me and that he was invalidating my emotions. I have the right to be angry.

Sorry, that rant made next to no sense.

I am still full of phlegm and sniffing like a bitch but overall I’m pretty much ok. Feeling a bit disorganised at the moment, I’ve been writing lists to try and manage but it’s not helping. Everything just feels a bit up in the air.

I’m going to read some more of the guide to being mental and then try and get some sleep. It’s one of the Christmas parties at the drop-in tomorrow and I really want to enjoy it.